Sunday, April 19, 2009

"Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be so hard"

I just put my TTC timeline into the margin of my blog. Holy CRAP I have been through a lot. It's didn't really hit me until I began typing it all out. It's really difficult to read it all and think that it's me. It's my TTC life. What happened??? Why do I go to sites like this and think "why do they get to experience this and I can't?" Then I go to sites like Lori's, Heather's, and Coco's and know I am not alone in this. But I feel alone. I am sad, angry, hurt, fed up, and just plain tired.

I have my IVF cycle coming up in July. Josh and I decided to try one last natural cycle in May before that. I am on BCP right now because a) I am hoping it will tell my ovaries to produce next month, and b) my dr. forbade any activity for 6 weeks after my surgery, so we couldn't do anything anyway... I have also gone mostly organic with the exception of the occasional Cadbury Creme Egg because they are just delish and you can only have them at Easter...

I was perusing another infertility site earlier, she had quotes from the song "Scientist" by Coldplay. They really hit home for me, so I invite you listen for yourself.



10 comments:

Brandie said...

I really do have a good feeling about you..seriously, I feel like this is it for you. You may even get pregnant when you stop the pill. That happened within a week of me stopping my bcp when I got preg with Noah - first time trying and bam! Now. . .I've been ttc for nearly two years and nothing! I'm going back on the pill as of Friday! lol - I think thats my only ticket. And if that doesn't work for you, the IVF surely will. .I just KNOW it.

Chele said...

Hugs, the roller coaster of infertility is a bitch. I too feel really positive for you and am very hopeful that this time next year will find you with your own bundle of joy.

Hang in there......

Coco said...

I feel you hun

WiseGuy said...

Sexy header Miss! Yes, I went through your sidebar...you have had a long journey!

All the very best for your July IVF cycle...my best wishes are with you!

And yes, I love Coldplay...though I have not gone through The Scientist before...Thanks for posting!


*ICLW*

Flower said...

Praying that you get your BFP soon! ICLW

Mrz. Hannah Myhre said...

Hello to you miss.. I hope your cycle in July works and this is it for you. I am about to do my 1st IVF with ICSI cycle next month.. and I'm both nervous and Excited..
I really liked the song, it hit home for me also;)

Hannah

~ICLW

Misty said...

Wishing you a lucky natural BFP in May! Hope it works, looks like you definitely paid your dues!
Happy ICLW!

Barefoot said...

I'm new to your blog via ICLW -- love the heels!

Wishing you the best for your cycle in July. I'll be following along!

The Patterson's said...

Love the blog name...

Good luck with your first IVF cycle!

ICLW

cat said...

oh honey....i totally believe big for you that your dreams will come true. i know it hasn't been easy...i wish i could wave a magic wand and make it all better. i have a good feeling for you love...i do think you'll bring another niece or nephew (or both) my way soon...i love you sis...hang in there. we are all here to hold you up when the road gets too rough...