Monday, March 8, 2010

33/6

YAY -the babies made it another week! tomorrow marks 34 weeks. I am so, so happy and I feel like I can relax a little...

Josh took care of bringing the bureau down and putting the bookshelves upstairs yesterday. I converted it into a lovely "baby center". Which means I stocked it with diapering items, onesies, sleepers, and blankets so I won't have to go all over the house for necessities if I am chilling in the living room in the middle of the night.

Speaking of middle of the night - I actually got decent sleep last night! I ended up going to sleep around midnight, woke up 2 or 3 times, but fell right back asleep, and I was up for the day at 6:30. A bit of a feat for me. I feel good... Except my back pain has gotten worse during my waking hours. I can get comfy at night, but during the day I am attached to my heating pad... And yeah, they babies are both definitely lower now. BH have been more frequent and more painful. Not enough to warrent a call to my dr but definitely worse....

I had a bit of an emotional fit the other day. And by that I mean crying uncontrollably for an hour and totally freaking poor Josh out. I just feel so helpless. I want to vacuum and clean and such. Josh told me to just ask him instead of getting myself worked up. For me it's easier said than done. I was raised to be pretty self-sufficient and take care of things myself, so it's always been hard for me to ask for help. I feel like a nag if I ask. He says not to worry about it....

I was watching Kendra the other day. It was the one where she had her baby. In her hospital room she was heavily and painfully laboring. And there were 10-12 of her family members in the room with her. Just watching her. Like staring at her. As I was watching that I thought "that's my hell". After she had the baby everyone in the room kept asking to hold him. She didn't seem to mind. I asked Josh if I should feel bad that I am almost glad we don't have family super close by so that we can enjoy a few precious hours of just us should the babies come early. He said that the birth of our children is a very private time and he would be happy to have it be just us for a little bit. I don't know if I would feel the same way if it wasn't for IF. We lived in a silent hell for years, glazing over our fertility problems with family and friends. But quietly screaming inside. So with that being so private I feel like we earned our own time, even if only an hour or so, of just us. Of course if we make it to a scheduled c-section (doubt it), that will change a little. And that's ok too. BUT when I say "out" I mean "out" ;) Thankfully the few people who will come from out of town will understand that.

I hope!

2 comments:

Once Upon A Time said...

It sounds like you are hanging in there the best you can. Yay for the better sleep! (I can't say GOOD sleep- because I still think 6 1/2 hours with waking up 2-3 times is less than ideal) I know how hard it is- the back pain, the wanting to do stuff but not being able to, etc.

I'm glad we won't have anyone @ the hospital right away either- the perks of living hours away from our family. Personally, I'm not a big fan of lots of visitors afterwards either- especially since we'll be trying to figure everything out as a new family of 4.

Do you know when the dr. will take you off bedrest and let things happen on their own?

Lauren said...

I am the exact same way! My feelings are mostly toward my inlaws, but I don't want people coming and visiting and holding the baby. It's MY baby! I need to hold him and bond with him and do all that stuff with him. You don't need to! Back off!

I tried to tell DH that I don't want him to even tell his parents I'm in labour until after the baby is born. He didn't really go for that. Grrr. It's my body that's in labour. It should be my choice!!!