Thursday, March 18, 2010

Is it emotional in here or is it just me?


For some reason (haha) I have grown increasingly more emotional lately. Yeah I know it's pg horomones, but I need to say that I feel like I have kept it pretty well together over the last 35+ weeks. I would have a little outburst maybe once every month or less often.

Now? Weekly. Almost daily. And not just getting annoyed. I mean full-blown tears and sadness and that sense of "woes me".

Cue the violin.

In my defense, my back hasn't stopped hurting since Christmas. It's gotten so bad that I cry. It has more or less taken over anything I could possibly do during the day.

I woke up in a stressed out panic this morning and proceeded to make my husband feel bad.

What got me upset was Josh wanting to get a video game for our time in the hospital. It's only $25 but I got to the point that I just started crying. Telling him that he won't have much downtime in the hospital. Asking him why he feels like there's going to be so much time where he will just sit around and do nothing.

Then it hit me. My birthday is next week. And he's the one spending money on himself. In my mind he's being selfish. But I know that I am dwelling on one thing. I know that he works hard and deserves a stupid video game.

I felt bad. I bought the damn game. I cried.

Earlier today my dog got some sort of contact allergy on her paws and she was licking them. It just grosses me out. And I felt bad because I yelled at her to stop licking her paws.

So I cried.

And that made her feel bad which made me feel worse. So I cried even harder.

I cried the other day because I lost my tweezers. My eyebrows are important to me and I can't pluck them now.

When the dvr messed up my taping of American Idol last night I cried.

I couldn't sleep last night because I felt like our room was stuffy and I couldn't get out of bed to open the window.

You guessed it. I cried.

Looking at this post makes me feel like a flippin' idiot.

Who cries over tweezers??


Once Upon A Time said...

Oh sweetie- you just wait! The crying won't get better after the babies are out; it gets worse! I cry a few times a day now too- but for more stupid reasons. Damn hormones. I would cry over tweezers too... in fact I did at the hospital, because- well, I had a thought that I might not have time now to properly tweeze. I'm that idiot too.

After sitting in a hospital for 4 days, I would have to agree that he might actually have some time, especially if you are breastfeeding. There's only so much time you can hold a sleeping baby and those babies make the rounds with visitors too.

Do you want some really good news? My back pain disappeared after the delivery and hasn't come back since. I struggled with really bad back pain throughout the pregnancy and it got unbearable in the last month, making me cry daily. I actually had a physical therapy appointment scheduled the day the babies came. But now my back is fantastic! It will get better, I promise.

Lucky Jones said...

Thanks for being an idiot with me Katie! And the back pain going away is encouraging... I know it is replaced with other aches and pains, but I swear the back pain is the absolute worst.... I have a massage therapist who will be coming to my hospital room after the birth, but I may have to call her for a housecall sooner...

I get that there will be some downtime, but does he HAVE to play friggin' video games? He's 37, not 12 lol!

Paul and Gretchen said...

This is not meant to upset you (OR MAKE YOU CRY!), but your post made me laugh--not at you, but at the situation. You see, these are the new problems that we infertile women have prayed for! I know you would not change any of it for the world, because you have your precious miracles growing inside. I'm laughing because I am happy for you. The pain of IF is becoming a distant memory and you are now facing new challenges--but this is a good thing. I'm ready for some new things to cry about! :) Hang in there~God is preparing you for the many challenges of motherhood. (((Big hugs)))