Sunday, January 3, 2010

Foreign Land

I have been thinking so much about the two little ones I am currently growing and how Josh and I got to this point. How hard it was emotionally, physically, financially...

And how alien it is for me to think that most babies actually come from having sex. What a novel idea!

It seems so simple, yet so complicated at the same time. The conditions need to be right, the timing near-perfect. Yet all you have to do is "it" and BAM - nine months later you are holding your child in your arms. But for us, and many, many like us it's not that easy.

It's funny (not) when someone makes a "that's how you got pregnant in the first place" comment/joke. Like if I kiss my husband. I always think "if you only knew"... And it always makes me a little annoyed that for most, that IS how they got pregnant. Well, not kissing, but you get the gist.

I know many people who got pregnant "the old fashioned way". I don't get it. I find it hard to comprehend it being so easy.

MIL said something about how many people who did "what we did" ( she can't seem to say "IVF") conceive naturally afterward. I told her that wasn't going to happen.

Even though I have these two little lives that are a product of my husband and I, a form of our love and devotion to eachother, I still consider myself infertile. Because I just don't get it.


sweetpeanme said...

You know...I feel the same way. We are so stuck...we can't just suddenly decide to have takes a lot of work...not two minutes of work but two months of work!

I guess we are forever infertiles...but happy...pregnant...mommy ones. :o)

Just Another J said...

Wow, what a great post! I always wondered if that feeling of "not belonging" would follow after I got pregnant, because it is such a hard thing to forget. I'm not on the other side yet, but I'll continue to cheer you on!! Keep up the good work, you're gonna be an awesome mommy. Sometimes I think those that suffer through IF value motherhood so much more because of all their struggles.