really? I have less than 100 days left until my little ones are here?! REALLY?!
Actually, I will most likely have around 10-12 weeks left in this wild ride of pregnancy before I embark on the wild ride of motherhood.
How did time fly by so quickly? How is it that 8 years of trying and giving up and trying again and crying the whole time thinking I will never ever be a mommy and will never give my husband the family he wants come down to 10-12 more weeks?
How did it all happen so slowly, yet so fast?
It's all put into perspective for me. I need to enjoy this pregnancy more. I think I have been focusing more on the aches and pains and acid reflux and uncomfortableness than the squirms and the kicks and the anticipation of seeing and holding and loving these two little lives.
For instance, today I was relaxing on the couch after an hour of making 3 different types of lasagna (yeah, I'm awesome) and noticed I was feeling my son kicking and moving, but I hadn't felt my daughter in a little while. I rested my hand on my belly where she usually hangs out and after about 3 minutes I felt the movement. And the the hard kicks. And it made me realize that not only do I know she is there, she knows I am here. Same thing with our little boy. He knows I am here. They both know I am their mother.
I'm their mother. Wow.
In a couple of months we will be holding them each close, telling them how much we love them and how hard we prayed for them to come into our lives.
In a couple of years we will hear them each running around the house and calling for their mommy and daddy. Josh and I. We will hear their giggles and watch them play with our (their) doggies.
In a couple of decades we will be sending them off to college, or visiting them at their dorms.
After that I will be helping our daughter pick out her wedding gown when she meets the man of her dreams. Helping our son straighten his tie for his own wedding to his future bride. Then will come grandchildren of our own.
How is time slipping away so quickly?
I need to slow down. Take a breath. Enjoy every single second with my family. Because before I know it, they will be grown up...
But I hope they will still call me mommy when they are.
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