28 1/2 week pic (and a photobomb)

So here it is in all it's glory. The 28-week-measuring-39-week belly :)

And Molly photo-bombing me in the corner! She follows me around all of the time, when I chill on the couch she lays her head across the belly, gets kicked by her strong brother and sister, but still doesn't budge from my side :) She even has to be in the bathroom when I shower!

And here is brave me showing the bare belly... note the absence of stretch marks (WOOHOO!) And the belly button trying so hard to pop out... any day now...

Maybe one day I will actually get one with my face in it ;) But usually when I take these pics I am in no position to be photographed, so these will have to do...

Dietician visit

Went surprisingly well. She said what my dr said - I would be basically fine if I processed sugar like normal people, but since I am slow at it, that screws it all up.

All I really have to do is:

- control my carb intake to 240-260 a day. Seems like a lot... But...

- eat carbs with protein to even out the sugar spike.

- and EAT MORE. I am supposed to be eating an average of 2500 calories a day. OMG! That's a lot!

So my suspicions of not eating enough were correct. I'm eating the right types of food, but I just need to switch the order around a little. And eat more of it. And poke my finger 4x a day to check my levels. No biggie after ivf...

And good news - one of my snacks can be 4oz of dark chocolate. You know those large Hershey bars? That's 1/4 of that :) I've been staying away from sweets like the plague so it's nice to have permission to have something yummy every so often. Ice cream is ok too (yay!)... Of course this isn't an everyday thing, but yay nonetheless ;)

A quickie ;)

No, not that kind. Jeez, get your head out of the gutter! ;)

I just wanted to update on my appointment today. No u/s (boo!) but the babies heartbeats were checked and I was measured. Boy was at 141 and Girl was at 150 BPM. :) And I am officially measuring at (GASP!) 39 weeks. Seriously, I am carrying ALL of my baby weight front and center so I wasn't all that surprised. I now have to get the "wow you are about to pop" looks/comments when I go out in public. Nice... At least people will get out of my way in mine for the bathrooms...

Doc and I talked a lot about my gestational diabetes. My fasting level was perfect he says, so he knows that this isn't an insulin-dependent condition (yay!). Basically, I process sugars slower than normal people. I should have had a peak at one hour, instead I had it at 2 hours. My fasting was 88 (normal range <110). If I had peaked at the normal range I would have been near-fine. Still a teeny bit high, but fine.. But since I peak late I need to really add more protein and less carbs. boo. I love bread....

So I see the dietician Friday. I get to start pricking my fingers Saturday 4x/day, and deal with it for 9-10 weeks...

OH and I found out today that my doc will be on vacation during my 38 week mark, so chances are I will deliver in my 37th week. He's not really on vacation, his wife is one week behind me in her pregnancy. I've known this since our first visit, they saw the same RE I did for IVF and also had success :) So it wasn't a surprise to me. And since the babies are measuring a skosh ahead of schedule it's not a big deal. So it looks like babies might be here the week of March 29th instead! YIKES!

Third trimester... woah...

So today I am 28 weeks! Well, according to my doctor I am 28w1d because they moved my due date up a day....

It's crazy to know that there are only ten weeks left in my pregnancy. TEN WEEKS?! Possibly less!

The main thing lately with the babes is the change in movement. Not less movement, just different. Not so many jabs and kicks, more stretches and such. Instead of my stomach jerking like I hiccuped, it does this crazy slow roll. Last night Josh and I were chilling on the couch and I started feeling the rolls. Josh freaked out when he felt them. :) It was funny.

With me, my back has been hurting soooo bad. I still can't find my heating pad so I am gonna buy another one tonight. The only time it doesn't hurt is when I am in the tub or in bed. Asleep. Which is rare nowadays. I am so used to sleeping a lot, but lately it's been getting worse and worse. I nap in the late afternoon, but end up not being able to go to sleep until 1 or 2 am and then wake up at least 4-5 times. I am up and out of bed by around 9:30, but given the amount of times I wake up I figure I am getting around 4 or 5 hours of sleep. I would LOVE to sleep more now because I know it will be even harder when the babies get here.

I shouldn't complain, I mean I don't work, I can take it easy every day, but it's still so hard...

My shower is in a couple of weeks :) I am so excited to see my friends again after so long! Even one of my high school buddies will be there, I haven't seen her in probably 15 years!! AND I get to see my sisters and my mom!!! I can't wait! I haven't been doing any shopping for the babies because of this. The guest list for the shower was LONG, around 50 people plus a spouse or friend, and I already know a lot will attend. I did find a couple of things that I had to buy - a 3-6mos tee with a guitar on it, a leopard print onesie... but really not much...

Josh is getting his tigers tattoo finished in three weeks. Too bad I can't go with him, he's going up to the artist in Auburn, WA that started the work and staying for the weekend. Last weekend we went up to get some more done, which he did, but I was so uncomfortable and tired I told him I would have to stay home for the final session.

Oh, and GD update. I talked to the scheduler for the dietician and am going in on Friday. Seeing that's like almost 2 weeks since my 3hr test, I don't think there is a huge concern over it. If it was bad I would have already seen her and have gone on insulin, right?

Special Delivery!

I got the best package today! A box FULL of cute things for the babies from my dear friend Chele! Thank you so much!

I swear my kids are gonna be the best dressed :)

I also knitted these hats for my kiddos today :) it was cold and rainy, what better way to spend an afternoon than to knit? I didn't use a pattern, I just sort of winged it. they are about newborn size, maybe they will be their going home hats. I may even use them for the birth announcements. Who knows?

GTT results part 2

I guess everything was going too well. I had to have at least one complication. The big GD.

I don't know how high the levels need to be for it to be really really serious or just control-your-diet serious. I do know that with twins it is a generally higher risk because my pancreas is trying to provide insulin for two placentas instead of just one.

So there you have it. I don't know where to go from here. I am just numb right now.

I now there are much more serious complications in pregnancy, especially with twins. But this is just a huge blow to me. I feel like I have put my precious babies in danger. I haven't been careless with my diet at all, but I feel so guilty about every little piece of sugar I have indulged in.

This sucks....

GTT results???

Nope, not yet. I am hoping no news is good news, but I doubt they will just not call.... *sigh* getting anxious....

3hr test - check!

I had my 3hr GTT test this morning. It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it still sucked. I hadn't eaten anything since midnight last night and the glucose solution was nasty. It tastes like red bull. Blech.

So my first hour was ok. The babies were having a little party in my belly. The second hour I started feeling woozy and laid down on a bench in the waiting room and promptly went to sleep. Woke up, had more blood drawn, went back to sleep. Then had my last draw and I was free to go :) She had to take 3 draws from one arm because she couldn't find a vein in my other. She got it once but that was it.

I have had blood drawn 6 times in as many days now (5 in one arm). I'm hoping there will be no more. I am praying that my prep work for this pays off. I will find out in a couple of days :) ok, going back to sleep now :)

3 Hour test tomorrow

Wish me luck...

We had our blood drawn yesterday for life insurance, and tomorrow will be a doozy of a day. At least my blood pressure has always been great - for the insurance thing I was 116/66. Josh says that the bloodwork will come back and say I am a vampire ;)

So at least there's that. No preeclampsia for me :) HOPEFULLY no GD for me either! I have been preparing with carbs (if you stop eating carbs your blood sugar will actually go up to compensate) and protein. Josh says I still need to eat normal, which I am, but I am just trying to limit the sugar I take in today.

Ok, off to do a little shopping. I need to find a super cute outfit for my baby shower on the 7th!

Glucose Tolerance Test....

Big. fat.

FAIL.

Yep, I failed the 1 hour test. my levels were at 171, with the cutoff being at 140. Boo. Now I get to go in for the 3 hour test. I guess everything was going pretty well in this pregnancy, SOMETHING was bound to go wrong.

:(

26 weeks, appt, busy day!

Me and my belly waiting to get blood drawn ;)

Ahhh, could my day have been any better?

We started out getting up, dressed and first stop starbucks. I don't often go there anymore because of the cost... Afterward we went to my ultrasound and dr appointment. My little girl is measuring 2 days ahead now and weighs 2.2lbs :) And my boy is also 2 days ahead and weighs 2.1lbs! She weighed less at the last u/s, so she's really caught up! They both wiggled, kicked, and squirmed all over the place, but thankfully we got the anatomy scans on both. It took nearly 2 hours! My super-cervix is still tightly closed and 4.2cm. So babies are doing fantastic, I'm doing great, and all is well! My dr and u/s tech both said it couldn't be going better and that it's "textbook" :) So we figured I can go to 38 weeks and deliver, which means we will see our babies sometime before our 11 year anniversary on April 10th. we haven't scheduled it yet but he suspects it will be between 04/04 and 04/09 :) YAY!

After that we went downtown to grab lunch and see some of my old work folk. I walked into the store and my boss was there whom I haven't talked to since I left at 17 weeks. She was great, she said I looked great and was so happy that things were going well. I also saw 3 of my coworkers and was so happy I got to :) they said that the entire store was fighting over who would be able to go to my shower in a few weeks. I just think they should shut down the store and all come :) but I think companies frown on that....

Then we went to see our insurance agent and got all squared away with life insurance. Did I mention that Josh used to be an agent and worked with that agent and staff for a while? It was really great to see them all and getting our policies taken care of was surprisingly painless. How grown-up are we?!

THEN we went to the hospital to do the maternity tour. There were 7 or 8 other couples in the class. We had to go around with our introductions and when I said we were having twins we got the "AWWWWW!!" across the entire room. Josh and I later joked that after that none of the other unborn babies mattered cuz they didn't get the warm recepetion we did LOL! We always joke when we see one infant and think "underachievers"... Of course it is totally a joke - with twins I think the joke will be on us (at least for the first few months!)... But as you know we couldn't be happier with our blessings and are always estatic for every parent we know and see. Babies are truly a miracle! Anyway, the tour went well, they have a great facility and a great care philosophy. They also don't do a lot of deliveries there, so the staff is very one on one and totally dedicated. We saw the nursery and there was this tiny beautiful baby in there! It got me all misty-eyed :)

THEN we decided to get dinner. Mind you we started the day leaving the house at 9am and by this time it was after 7pm. We decided to go to Old Spaghetti Factory (after my doc mentioning it I was thinking about it all day) and they were having a great special for their 41st anniversary - 41% off their most popular entrees! Which included salad, bread, dessert, and a basic drink. We got out of there for $26 because we felt sorry for the waitstaff hustling around and gave a 50% tip :)

Now, HOME ahhh! So tired, but such a great day :) and spent with my #1 person in the world :)

I just hope that the results for my glucose tolerance test today will continue the good luck :)

AND I want to give a shout-out CONGRATULATIONS!!! to my dear friend Brandie! She is officially pregnant and I couldn't be happier for her :) You all need to get over to her blog and show her some love!

100 days... OMG

really? I have less than 100 days left until my little ones are here?! REALLY?!

Actually, I will most likely have around 10-12 weeks left in this wild ride of pregnancy before I embark on the wild ride of motherhood.

OMG.

How did time fly by so quickly? How is it that 8 years of trying and giving up and trying again and crying the whole time thinking I will never ever be a mommy and will never give my husband the family he wants come down to 10-12 more weeks?

How did it all happen so slowly, yet so fast?

It's all put into perspective for me. I need to enjoy this pregnancy more. I think I have been focusing more on the aches and pains and acid reflux and uncomfortableness than the squirms and the kicks and the anticipation of seeing and holding and loving these two little lives.

For instance, today I was relaxing on the couch after an hour of making 3 different types of lasagna (yeah, I'm awesome) and noticed I was feeling my son kicking and moving, but I hadn't felt my daughter in a little while. I rested my hand on my belly where she usually hangs out and after about 3 minutes I felt the movement. And the the hard kicks. And it made me realize that not only do I know she is there, she knows I am here. Same thing with our little boy. He knows I am here. They both know I am their mother.

I'm their mother. Wow.

In a couple of months we will be holding them each close, telling them how much we love them and how hard we prayed for them to come into our lives.

In a couple of years we will hear them each running around the house and calling for their mommy and daddy. Josh and I. We will hear their giggles and watch them play with our (their) doggies.

In a couple of decades we will be sending them off to college, or visiting them at their dorms.

After that I will be helping our daughter pick out her wedding gown when she meets the man of her dreams. Helping our son straighten his tie for his own wedding to his future bride. Then will come grandchildren of our own.

How is time slipping away so quickly?

I need to slow down. Take a breath. Enjoy every single second with my family. Because before I know it, they will be grown up...

But I hope they will still call me mommy when they are.

25 weeks!

So here I am.. sitting at 25 weeks pregnant with my two little ones... Pretty awesome :) freakout = 11-15 weeks to go!!!!

What's going on:
The babies viability has shot from 50% last week to nearly 70% this week! Woohoo!! Every day is like a little miracle in itself... Head to feet each one is roughly 13 1/2 - 15 inches long. They are getting fatter and fatter and their little lungs are developing. Their nostrils are now unplugged so that they can take some practice breaths...

As far as I'm concerned, I still have the same ol' aches and pains as before - hips hurt, back hurts, acid reflux (blech!!).. A warm-hot soak in the tub helps for the pain and whoever invented Maalox needs a medal... I have also had a minor cold this past week. Nothing major, just fuzzy-head feeling... My belly keeps on growing, I feel like I can see changes daily! I always think it's funny when I am getting out of the tub and when I pull myself up my stomach muscles tighten and I can see exactly where my little girl is in my belly - today she was more in the center - my belly looked like a pyramid :) The boy is still low in my hips, I feel him kick in the strangest places...

a few days ago my girl decided to stick a foot (?) high in my ribs and I am still tender there. I have heard of people dislocating ribs during pregnancy, although it doesn't feel quite that bad it's something I need to mention to my Dr next week...

Josh began work on his Christmas gift from me - a new tattoo! He didn't know what to get and then had an epiphany. He currently has a 1/2 sleeve tattoo on his arm and decided to finish the sleeve. Yep, my husband is in the process of having a completely tattooed arm. shoulder to wrist. That's A LOT of commitment, but I am all for it - I love tattoos :)

Anyway back to his epiphany - he decided to get twin Japanese tigers on his arm for his twin babies :) Awwww! I loved the idea! He has one done so far and will get the other done in 3 weeks. The shop we go to is in Auburn, WA (Action Tattoo). While we were there last weekend, I found out 2 of the artists are going to be daddies next year, so we all talked pregnancy and babies. I warned them about mood swings and that their wives don't mean it. And I told them that they need to do whatever their wives want them to and it will make thier lives soooo much easier :) So to Henry and Jose's wives - you are welcome :)

No, not these tigers... but they sure are adorable....

Foreign Land

I have been thinking so much about the two little ones I am currently growing and how Josh and I got to this point. How hard it was emotionally, physically, financially...

And how alien it is for me to think that most babies actually come from having sex. What a novel idea!

It seems so simple, yet so complicated at the same time. The conditions need to be right, the timing near-perfect. Yet all you have to do is "it" and BAM - nine months later you are holding your child in your arms. But for us, and many, many like us it's not that easy.

It's funny (not) when someone makes a "that's how you got pregnant in the first place" comment/joke. Like if I kiss my husband. I always think "if you only knew"... And it always makes me a little annoyed that for most, that IS how they got pregnant. Well, not kissing, but you get the gist.

I know many people who got pregnant "the old fashioned way". I don't get it. I find it hard to comprehend it being so easy.

MIL said something about how many people who did "what we did" ( she can't seem to say "IVF") conceive naturally afterward. I told her that wasn't going to happen.

Even though I have these two little lives that are a product of my husband and I, a form of our love and devotion to eachother, I still consider myself infertile. Because I just don't get it.

A new year, a new life (or two)

Looking back on this year I realize how much I have accomplished. It started out with dreamy prospects of IVF in Feb. Those dreams quickly went away upon the discovery of my fibroid growing and surgery required. I was devastated. I had to wait 3 months to try again. March 11 I had it removed. My mom, sister, and nephew came out to nurse me back to health. I met an amazing nurse that I hope to have again at the births.

In May I went back to start my ivf cycle. Discovery of polyps required yet another surgery. This was the first time I broke down in front of my doctor. June 1 was my second surgery. I finally began ivf prep at the end of June.

I switched stores at work. While I was sad to leave my staff, I made friends for life at my new store and will be forever grateful to have them in my life.

August 7th was one of the happiest days of my life. I saw it. Two lines. Ivf worked! Beta on August 11 confirmed it. Then 2 1/2 weeks later another happy day. Twins. I cried and cried.

Now, at just over 24 weeks, I still am amazed I have these two lives growing inside of me. With every kick I am reminded. I'm a mom! My lifelong dream.

Through all of this I have had one constant. My rock. My best friend. My husband.

Josh has been there for me through it all. He has felt the pain I have felt, the joys I have, the feelings of excitement, fear, happiness, elation, sadness. But above all else, he has been there for me. Our relationship has grown stronger with each day that passes.

I am so happy to have him beside me. 2010 is that much better knowing I have Josh right here with me.