Thursday, September 3, 2009

Unsolicited advice

So I was at work today. I was wearing a tight sweater so you could see my bump. If I wear something loose you can't see it, but I do have one. It's about the size that i could be pg, but I could just be fat. Beside the point... I was at the counter with my hand on my belly because the kiddos were giving me a bout of neausea. A trashy lady comes up to me and asks when I was due.

Me: early next year
Her: wow! You are huge for not being very pregnant!
Me: Thanks. I'm carrying twins. We twin carriers usually measure 4 weeks ahead.
Her: your hands are gonna swell. Your feet too. That's gonna suck for you.
Me: well, my sisters didn't have a whole lot of swelling issues, neither did my mom, so I think I will be ok.
Her: well they didn't have twins, did they?
Me: no, do you have twins?
Her: no, but I swelled.
Me: I'm not related to you. I think I will be just fine.
Her: you are gonna swell big time.
Me: then come back in a few months. I will be the one with the sausage fingers and Kleenex boxes on my feet cuz no shoes fit.

Really lady, do you honestly think I care about your water retention issues? This lady had to have been around 230 lbs or more. Me? I'm like 140ish give or take. I also down water like you wouldn't believe and don't have water retention issues. She looked like she ate cheetos and red bull through her pregnancy. Her flabby tummy was actually hanging out of her shirt. Her muffin top frightened me. Why the hell was she in a high end designer store?

Sorry, I don't mean to judge, but come on. She looked like one of the people on that site peopleofwalmart.com. Check it out, it's funny and sad at the same time. I liken her to the lady in the pink top. You'll know her when you see her.

I guess this is just the start of all of the unsolicited advice that will happen upon me in the next 7 or so months. Awesome. The dark side of pregnancy.

Oh, and my sweet wonderful husband looked at me the other day and says " it will be fun to see what this pregnancy does to you". Asshole.

7 comments:

IF Optimist, then... said...

Gawd, what a nightmare. Didn't you wish you could have suggested the swelling in her lip would be worse when you punched her in the face in about 10 seconds!?! I'm so glad I don't have to deal with the public any more. You'll be and look fabulous with your non swelling self and cute bump.

sweetpeanme said...

Good grief...people are so rude...I don't understand where they get off thinking they can say stuff like that.

So we're four weeks ahead with twins?? That's good to know!! I was wondering why my belly is pokin' out (I know most of its bloat though!). I haven't announced my pregnancy at work yet but some people who do know have been coming up to me and telling me that people have been asking because they noticed the bump!! Oh boy!

The Patterson's said...

Wow! Some people really have nerve!

Gracia said...

omg, worst customer (or noncustomer bc i'm guessing she didn't buy anything) ever. Just be thankful that you have good genes and aren't related to her.. yuckos..

...and thats a pretty funny Josh quote haha.. You will look just as beautiful as you already do, just with a baby tummy. :)

Lauren said...

haha, what an idiot.

A couple of weeks ago I was taking my dad around town for doctor's appointments and xrays. It took hours longer than it was supposed to, and I went through all my food. All there was for me to buy was chips and chocolate bars, but I HAD to eat something so I bought both. I was sitting beside an old lady and we were talking about the long wait for xrays and I said "Yeah, and I'm pregnant and nauseous, so I'm STARVING."

The lady looked at my chocolate bar and said "You're pregnant? You shouldn't be eating that! You'll put on too much weight!"

Yeah lady. One chocolate bar is going to cause me to be obese. Keep your comments to yourself.

cat said...

oh yeah...you'll get the horror stories and terrible birth stories. i never understood what makes perfect strangers feel like this is a good thing to tell pregnant women...i mean come on!! you'll do great!! and don't mind josh...j always said that stuff too..haha!

VelvetMinxx said...

Cat's right, people want to tell you their horrible birth stories, or the exaggerated horrible birth stories of other people.

I thought giving birth was fun!