Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The horror film

My sister always said that after she became pg with her son there was always a "horror film going on in the back of her head". You know, the worst possible things happening? Yeah, I got that.

It all started yesterday. I had the day off. I spent the morning sleeping and the afternoon leisurely running light errands. I had a healthy breakfast, snacked on veggies, and made a positively scrumptious dinner. I napped, relaxed, shopped a bit, and rubbed my expanding belly. I felt good. It scared the hell out of me. I'm not supposed to feel good!!! I also (tmi) had some digestive changes which didn't help... Sorry...

Rational me would say I felt good because I wasn't working. I wasn't stressed out, I had good sleep, I was relaxed. Rational me would say the digestion changes were due to laying off the dairy a bit and keeping veggies in my diet. Rational me would say this. This is not rational me. This is now protector me.

I have no cause for alarm. I have no bleeding at all, nothing that would even remotely be a sign of something wrong. But I can't help it. I have wanted this for so long, I will be damned if it's taken away. I do shots and pills to sustain my pregnancy. I take every single necessary precaution to make sure my child(ren) are safe and sound.

But there's still that damn horror film. Someone asked me if I was feeling better after a bout of neausea the other day. I told her I won't feel better for another 18 years at least. And it's true!

5 comments:

cat said...

yeah....that horror film will play with you..:( every pregnancy i felt the same way....just keep thinking as positive as you can and doing all that you are doing to make sure you are healthy and the bean(s) is/are the same. seriously, the nausea right now will come and go...watch out about 7 weeks, that's when it all seems to just kick into high gear...nausea, constipation, heartburn, insomnia...you'll love it all when it hits too! i know you will because it will reassure you that all is going just as expected inside that growing belly of your's...*hug*

oh, and just an fyi, i can speak from experience that the horror film does not stop at 18 years...*sigh* he's 22 and it plays even louder some days! ;)

love you!!!!

The Patterson's said...

I have that horror film, too! It hasn't gone away yet, but it takes a little longer to appear after every appointment. I hope it is the same for you!

sweetpeanme said...

Ugh...I'm feeling the horror film too!!! Since I'm a teacher my summer break was absolutely wonderful...those early few weeks of getting pregnant...now I have to get up every morning and function (no resting...no afternoon naps!) and I'm freaking. I did have a light coloration on my pantiliner though...that freaked me out a bit...*sigh*

Praying our horror stories will soon change into fairy tales!! :o)

Lauren said...

I remember at 5 weeks I would have days where I felt really good and I was terrified about it too!

And then right before 6 weeks, BAM!!! the CONSTANT, OVERWHELMING nausea started and hasn't left, so I always feel like crap.

It'll come and you'll be like "Ugggh, why was I ever worried, I HATE feeling like this." But it'll still reassure you that you feel like an absolute piece of poo all the time.

VelvetMinxx said...

My MIL said you don't feel better till your kids are married.