Strange or Normal? TMI edition

I am sure this is all about the drugs I am taking (estrace, baby asprin, doxycycline, medrol,prenatal, and PIO shots.... I think that's it), but I have the weirdest pains. My uterus feels full like I am going to have a doozy of an AF or like I have to pee. It is actually uncomfortable to walk around, even at work. Anyone else have this feeling? Last check on my lining was 11.5mm and I have been in triple pattern for a while now, so I would imagine I have a nice thick lining now since that was last Sunday. So that's it, right?

My boobs hurt too, I know that has everything to do with the PIO shots. Speaking of which...

I have had 2 shots so far. Josh is a pro at giving them to me and they don't hurt so far. But the whole idea that they are going to start hurting freaks me out a bit. josh makes sure I don't see the needle at all, he waits until my back is turned and my eyes are closed before he takes the cap off. So sweet :)

So my embies have been incubating for 3 days now. They should have 8 perfect cells and all snug in their petri dish beds, waiting for their home on Sunday. Tomorrow they should begin compacting and by Sunday morning be blastocysts.

Still babies to me...

The embryologist hasn't called me about them or how they are doing. I take it as "no news is good news".

I guess we will find out Sunday morning!

I will most likely not have an update until Tuesday. I will be on bedrest for 48 hours following the transfer and I don't think my notebook computer on my lap will be a good idea. Well, maybe a little update from my phone... But I will post pictures of the embies when I can. As Katie calls them "baby's first picture", which I love...

Thoughts in the TWW

So I don't think I will get another report until I go in Sunday morning. I am praying for my 17 babies, that each one will grow healthy and strong and my Dr will have a hard time deciding which 2 to put back... My sister made me laugh when she said "well I hope they put back Daphne and Dexter, that would suck if they put back a couple that you don't know!" I am also planning on testing before my blood test, just because I want to have an idea of whats going on, especially since I will be at work that day.

AND I still have Chele's Lucky HPT. 2 of the 3 she has given the HPT's to have gotten a BFP :) So I'd say they are lucky...

I was at the grocery store today buying organic veggies (since it's WAY too hot to go to the Farmer's Market) and thought about something. I had heard 1 in 4 women suffer from infertility at some point in their lives. and just over 10% have serious issues that require more than a minor change, such as PCOS, Male Factor, Endo, or just unexplained. I wondered how many of the women I saw today had suffered or are currently struggling with it. I began seeing it all from a different perspective. I must have come across 100 women today during my errands. Of those women, 25 have felt the way I have felt. They have cried when only one line has shown up, they have blamed themselves, or wondered "why me?". They have had the BFP only to have it taken away again. 10 of those have yet to overcome it, or possibly never will. I wonder how many have given up?

I would say maybe one. If that.

We TTCers are a strong group. We have had tears, heartache, pain, confusion. But we always keep going back for more. Why?

Because of hope. And maybe some stubborness.

But mostly hope.

Fertility Report

Just got off the phone whith the embryologist. I was expecting 15 mature and around 12 to fertilize.

It's better than that.

I got 18 mature and 17 fertilized!!!

So I am hoping at least half to grow to blast stage. I'm stoked :)

BUT it's quality over quantity. I'm hoping for some good quality embies. With Josh's swimmer report I am fairly confident. So it all lies with the egg quality I've given.

So far so good, right?

Quick update

All done. I'm so sore right now, but so happy. Dr says he got 20 eggs and I will get a call tonight on how many are mature. Tomorrow I will get a fertilization report and then I go back Sunday morning for the transfer. Ok so I'm exhausted now. Thanks for all of the well wishes, it's nice to know I have lots of Internet buddies who care :)

Is it hormonal in here or is it just me?

So today I had the height of my emotional, um, issues? instability? whatever, I was emotional.

Boss was at my store. I had a HUGE floorset last night and was at my store until almost 1am. I knew the floorset still needed work. So my boss didn't exactly ream me over it, not mean, just assertive about it. I can usually handle that and take criticism very well. I am NOT a cry-er. Especially at work. But today... well, I lost it. I mean lost it. I couldn't stop crying. My boss was feeling bad and I had to explain to her that it had nothing to do with what she was telling me, I got it and I agreed with her completely. I told her it was hormones, and then I said it. I told her I had my ER tomorrow and told her that I have been shooting myself with all kinds of hormones for the last week or so and it made me emotional.

Surprisingly, she understood. I was surprised. She of course went back to the workrelated issues, but she understood why I had struggled and why I was emotional.

Unfortunately all of the salty tears affected my vision, and ultimately my contact lens, which tore towards the end of the day. So driving home was scary.

Anyway, It all got me thinking... maybe if this does work I should step down to assistant manager instead of store manager. Less stress. Less responsibility. BUT less money. But it may be worth it....

Then again, it could be my hormones talking.

Josh gave me my HCG shot last night. He had no problem what-so-ever doing it too. I think he actually enjoyed it... Did I mention I was at my store all evening? Yeah, so since it's against company policy to have a non-employee in the store after hours (much less a friend/relative/spouse) we had to meet somewhere. So where do you meet to get a shot at 9pm? A bar? not that kind of shot.

We met up by my car in the 8-story-downtown-Portland-parking garage.

Yes, that's right. My husband shot me in the a$$ in a parking garage. No, nobody was there.

And I don't think I am the first person to inject something in that parking garage. I mean, it IS downtown Portland...

ER scheduled for 8am tomorrow morning, I have to be there at 7:15. Wish me luck ;)

Trigger happy...

So I am ready to trigger. I can't believe I am already up to this point!! I have had 5 or 6 dr visits in the last week, and today I have follies that measure 16mm-21mm. So Josh gets to trigger me at 9pm tonight. Oh yeah, I also have to work tonight rearranging the store, so Josh gets to come to my work to do it. We don't really have a choice though, I can't do it myself (I don't think anyway, I am gonna google it..) and I don't have anyone there who could do it for me. Plus that would be weird....

Dr says he will most likely have 21-23 eggs to retreive, I am hoping there will be at least 10 mature. ER will be bright and early Tuesday morning! We have to be there by 7:15am, retreival is at 8, I will be able to go home by around 9:30. I think Josh will only take a half day since I will be on bedrest and sleeping most of the day anyway. I also have Wednesday off to rest as well.

My boss was at my store yesterday and although I didn't tell her exactly what was going on, I did tell her I had to be out Tuesday for a "procedure". she had mentioned she would be at my store Tuesday so I had to say something.

I have been pretty exhausted and emotional too. Yesterday Josh and I were talking about something lame and I for some reasons burst into tears. I was telling him I was sorry for crying, I felt so stupid about it, he just hugged me and said he understood. It was ridiculous...but these lovely hormones surging through me make me do strange things...

Ok back to watching The Cramps perform on an old episode of BH90210.. The Cramps? at the Peach Pit with Dylan, Brandon, Kelly, Steve, and Donna? REALLY?!

What do you know about pressure?

Sorry, that's a line from Ace Ventura, hissed by what's-her-face.

Anyway, If Optimist, Then got it right in the comments to the previous post. I'm starting to feel the pressure and the pain of my ovaries becoming the size of cantaloupes. Well maybe not that big but still uncomfortable. Which tells me the follies are still growing - yay! And it tells me there are probably still lots of them. All good signs.

I've also been incredibly exhausted and wanting sweets, like chocolate. Is tuis normal?

MIL and FIL left yesterday. It was nice to see them, they are pleasant. I had to put all of my meds in a cooler in my room though, but I'm ok with them knowing if they did figure it out. Just please don't talk about it and don't ask questions. I have always felt like if I wanted to talk about it I will on my own accord. It's a touchy subject, ya know?

I have another dr appt tomorrow and then I get to set all of the windows at my store. If you take a look at retail clothing displays you will see the work involved. Luckily though I have a couple of others coming in to work in them so all I really have to do is delegate and direct. Fine with me :)

Oh and another appt Sun and most likely Mon. Then on to ER, fert report, and ET with a hopeful freeze in there.... Who knew trying to have a baby would be so complicated???