All about ME ;)

Thanks to blogger Tao of Two for this! She's another twin mommy whose blog you all should check out...

1. I was born in Fullerton, California.

2. I come from a family of 6 kids. Yes, all by the same parents. Yes, my parents are still happily married.

3. I was a photographer for more than 7 years. Before that I was a makeup artist. After that I was a doll artist.

4. I can't stand a messy kitchen. I spend hours scrubbing it top to bottom.

5. I can spend hours in Powells Books. Well, I used to spend hours there.

6. I love the art of Mark Ryden.

7. I was shocked at how much I did not enjoy pregnancy fully. I felt really guilty about that. I thought I would love it.

8. I watch a lot of reality shows about fashion and food. And hair.

9. I once got kicked hard in the face at a concert and got my nose broken. It's now slightly crooked but you can barely tell.

10. In high school I was heavily into drama. I even directed!

11. I live for garage sales but haven't been to one in nearly a year. boo....

12. My husband and I have been together since I was 19 years old. So 17 years.

13. I love LOVE Mexican religious art. Our Lady of Guadalupe is one of my favorite pieces of art ever.

14. My first job was for a party company. My first assignment with them was a holiday part on the Paramount Studios lot. my second assignment was a birthday party for Nicole Ritchie. She was 6 at the time. I helped her decorate a hat and one of her gifts was a kiddie-sized BMW. No joke.

15. Guilty pleasure? Peanut M&M's. They are even better warmed up...

16. I run another blog that does giveaways and freebies. It started during my pregnancy as a way to pass the time.

17. I'm a night owl. Totally.

18. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be somewhere by the beach. I LOVE the beach...

19. If there are cookies in the house, they are ALL MINE ;)

20. I can knit and crochet (novicely!).

21. I'm left handed. The only other family member who is as well is my dad. I secretly hope one or both of my children are also lefties.

22. I thought I would dress my daughter kinda punk, but I find myself getting her a ton of super girly things.

23. Josh and I were married in Lake Tahoe at Cal-Neva Resort. It was perfect. And I didn't stress like a lot of brides do.

24. I have gotten two people fired from their jobs - the first was the guy who did my nails at the resort ( he was terrible!), the second was a guy who cut me off and nearly ran me off the freeway in his company truck.

25. I love the rain. LOVE it.

Help me win a contest?

Ok, I am determined to win this Facebook contest...

There's this really cute line of tutus and accessories called Silly Ili's Tutus & More. The stuff is truly ADORABLE - I can see Riley in one of their tutus. Plus everything is handmade by a wonderful mom, Kristen.

She's having a Facebook contest - whoever can refer the most people wins a GC for Silly Ili's. I am so determined to win this!

Will you please go to their Facebook site, "like" them, and post that Carol Jones referred you? You will like them anyway - So much cute stuff!

For my FB friends who have already done it, thanks!

Kinda diggin this tutu, super girly!

Sleep update :)

UPDATE!
They must have been trying to get the no-sleep thing out of their systems because...

Dylan slept 6 hours last night! And Riley slept about 5 hours!

Dylan went to sleepy around 10pm. I expected him to wake up at midnight or 1am. He stirred a bit but fell back asleep quickly. At 4am he woke up, got changed and fed, and was back down by 4:30. Then up at 7 and back to sleep at 8:30!

Riley slept from 9pm-11pm and was back asleep quickly after a feed and change. She woke up at 4:15 and was asleep again by 5. She ended up sleeping until 9. Currently she is trying to crawl on me. As much crawling as a 7 week old can do anyway. So she's more flailing on me. But she's happy!!

Growing like weeds...

So last night was an odd night. Both Dylan and Riley woke up after just over an hour of sleep and were up for nearly 2 hours... to put it in perspective:

• 8pm - feed babies get them ready for bed.
• 9pm - put them in bed (still awake)
• 9:15pm - they are asleep, silly me thinks it will be a typical night.
• 10pm - both wake up. Each get changed and fed again.
• 10:45pm - both go back to sleep
• 12midnight - both wake up. changed/fed
• 2am - both are STILL awake. I watch DVR tapings of Dancing With the Stars and The Dish. both get changed and fed again. This time I enlist the bottle-propped-up-with-blanket method.
• 2:30am - finally asleep again after more eating and pooping.
• 3:45am - both wake up AGAIN. Riley needs to be held. Dylan is happy in his bouncy but I need to bounce it with my foot. He gets pissed if it's not bouncing like he's on a rollercoaster... I watch Iron Chef America while patting Riley on the back for an hour. Again the bottle prop method is used...
• 5:30am - ahh, they are asleep again...
• 7am - awake. Really?! They eat and get changed for the 6th time in 10 hours.
• 8:45am - Josh leaves for work. I look like I have been hit by a truck. Babies are both wanting cuddles, but don't want the other one to have cuddles too.
• 9:30am - finally asleep again. until 11am.

I tried to pull all of the tricks out from my sleeve. I used their lullaby CD. I utilized the bottle-prop. I tried my hardest to snuggle them both without pissing either one off with the other. I swaddled them. I bounced them.

I think they are going through a growth spurt. I think that's why they needed 4-6oz of formula each every 2 hours. Seriously, they each ate 20-24 oz each within a ten hour time span. I had prepared 16oz before we went to bed because they almost never go over that. Actually, come to think of it, they never have. They will each take 4oz at 9pm, then 4oz at midnight, then if they both wake in the night they each get another 4oz (although Riley tends to sleep longer so it's usually Dylan), and then at 6 or 7am they get breakfast and then sleep til noon. Their play time is usually around 3 or so, then again at 7... So last night was definitely out of the norm for them.

Plus they are growing out of clothes on a daily basis. Most of their NB clothes were either worn once or not at all with the exception of a few core onesies and sleepers. Nearly every day I go through their clothes and put things away that don't fit. Crazy! One of Dylan's cute outfits went from too big, to just right, to too small in a matter of 4 days. And I mean swimming in it to fat-guy-in-a-little-coat small...

So I am not annoyed by last night's baby escapades. It's just sad to see them grow so fast. that must be why Riley needs extra cuddles - I bet it doesn't feel too good have your little body stretch so quickly to grow...

We had my SIL and her family over for the weekend. It was SO NICE to see them, but the babies got over-stimulated on Saturday and took 3 hours to settle down. BUT I did find a super cute Kenneth Cole jacket for Dylan while out. Riley got a ruffly denim skirt, two tracksuits, and some leggings...

With that, here's some pictures of "Mr. Pickles" and "Dr. Angel-Face".

Happy with their new Paci-Plushies :)

I bought this onesie 2 years ago. And it's fitting with the sounds he makes waking up and eating!

I finally found a Double Snap-n-Go that I can easily get up and down my staircase, so we took it out for a test drive yesterday. Just me and the babies :)

My pretty girl! I made the little flower in her hair to match her outfit :)

My chunk of a man in his cool Lucky Brand tee. He looks like a miniature version of his daddy here. Only his daddy's cheeks aren't nearly as chubby. Ok, not at all chubby.

That look is gonna get her whatever she wants. Or in trouble. One of the two...

Having a little snuggle session with mommy...

6 weeks :)

The loves of my life are 6 weeks old today! Where has the time gone??

I will celebrate by cleaning my house. They will celebrate by hopefully staying happy, sleeping on their schedule, and not being gassy. Or needy. Yesterday they were quite needy...

They are usually pretty self-sufficient. When they wake up I change them, feed them, play a little, cuddle a little, then I can put them both down in their crib, bouncer, or swing and they will entertain themselves until they fall asleep. But yesterday they both wanted to be held all day. Which was ok with me, I love holding my babies :) But nit was weird to see them like that - they were so insecure... This morning Dylan was all out of sorts for a while. He ate, got changed, got cuddled, ate again, snuggled again, and he was still unhappy. So we went out to the living room and sat in the rocker. Within 5 minutes he was sound asleep... so he wanted some movement, I will have to remember that. I also had put on their Heartbeat Lullabies CD which always gets them calm, but I had to do it in the living room since Josh was still sleeping...

Sleep is still the same with both of them. Riley can sleep through the night, but Dylan still wakes up usually once or twice a night. And he rarely wakes up happy, it's always 0-60 with him. Sometimes he does hang out until I notice him awake, but that's usually in his pack-n-play in the living room and he gets to stare at the ceiling fan. We have 16ft ceilings in our living room, he's always looking at that fan way up there, which amazes me :) Riley will usually wake up pretty happy. She almost ALWAYS smiles a little at me when I get her. She's such a pretty little girl!

And I think she's going blonde! Her roots are coming in all light. I have dark red hair, Josh is blonde, so I am wondering which way she will end up. I can't really tell if her roots have any red in them yet.... Dylan's hair is light auburn red :) Go team ginger!

My SIL and her family are coming for the weekend :) I will be so happy to have some adult conversation! And we plan on getting out of the house for a couple of hours, leaving Josh with the kids. I keep telling myself I won't be one of those moms who calls constantly to check on them, but who am I kidding?

I will take pictures this weekend - Promise!! Sorry I've been slacking - I do take a lot of pics, they are on my phone....

Giveaway from "you just gotta keep knittin'"

My dear friend Michelle is hosting a great giveaway! Click HERE to check it out! There are two great prizes!

~

Also, my sister site Mommy Wants Freebies will be doing a great giveaway that many of you will love :) Head on over there to check it out. Plus if you are a Facebook member you can sign up for alerts. I put the site together while on bedrest during my pregnancy and it kinda took on a life of it's own.. Basically it's a free, no-strings offers from companies that I find through searching the web and email alerts. It's totally fun to go to the mailbox now because I get free stuff all of the time. Some things I got last week:

OK! magazine (got a free 1 year sub), Martha Stewart Living (free 1 year), tea, diapers, formula, shampoo, conditioner, Dove chocolate, etc...

Anyway, I don't post anything that asks for credit card or bank info. It's all totally free stuff.. And I don't get anything out of it (except for free stuff in the mail) so I'm not selling anything.. You can click HERE and check it out ;)

Wordless Wednesday

:)

Pity? Party of one?

Yeah, that's me.. not having the greatest day today... Hormones? maybe.... Probably....

Let's start with self-image, shall we?

Two weeks post-partum I was able to get back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I had lost all of the baby weight and then some. Yay me. HOWEVER.

I have had no change since then. Ok, I have had no POSITIVE change since then...

My stomach....
I have this chunk of flab sitting on my lower belly. It just hangs there. I was taking a bath tonight (a long bubble bath that I deserved dammit - we will get to that), looked down at my belly, kinda pinched my skin and it's like jello. no, like pudding. Like runny pudding with skin. It jiggles and it's ugly and it has stretchmarks and I even still have my linea nigra. Isn't that supposed to go away? So without spanx I have a pocket of skin that just sits in my jeans. My skinny jeans don't look the same. When putting on spanx (or jeans or pants or whatever) I feel like I have to tuck the skin in. Maybe I will get brave a post a PP belly shot. Maybe not...

My b00bs....
They are ginormous. I mean HUGE... It's not like I was small before I got pregnant. I was a 36 DD. Now I am more like a 36 FF, but I don't dare go out and buy new bras because, well, I am in denial. They are engorged but I can't pump enough to keep up with my little ones. Dylan eats a minimum of 24 oz a day, Riley roughly the same. so 48oz a day minimum per day to sustain my children's lives without formula. How much am I pumping? 5-10oz a day. And thanks in advance for the suggestions, but i've tried. I've tried herbs, teas, pumping more frequently, using a super industrial pump, even Reglan. So I give them what I can and have to be ok with it. Considering the size of my chesticle you would think I can supply milk for the entire town. Nope. Apparently it's a cruel joke to the milk fairy. At least my large ladies make my waist appear smaller in comparison...

Mother's Day? I don't want to talk about it. We will leave it at that. And I will add he is NOT off the hook....

Last night I got the babies to sleep and wanted a soak in the tub. Josh said he wanted to take a quick shower. I knew that I missed my opportunity to get some time to myself - it was 11pm and the babies would be awake by midnight and Josh would be in bed asleep by then. Waaahh to me... By the way, that not why my Mothers Day sucked.

On a positive note, my babies are keeping me going. They are THIS CLOSE to giving me genuine smiles. When Riley briefly smiles in her sleep I get a glimpse of her little dimple on her left cheek. Dylan might have one on his right cheek, I can't tell yet. They are also sleeping decently. I changed Dylan's formula to Alim.entum from Simil@c and it seems to help. He still has bouts of colic but not nearly as bad as he was. Apparently it's supposed to peak soon and then calm back down. Which would be nice because this formula is twice the cost of regular stuff. Riley sleeps like a champ - a few hours at a time. The longest was 8 hours last week!

Then back to sad - they are growing so fast. Clothes they fit into 3 days ago no longer fit them. Sadness... I have one outfit that I really want to put on Riley - a cute little sundress. but by the time I am able to let her wear it (I live in Portland - rain..) I know it won't fit. Boo.

But then back to happy times when I look into their eyes and I know that they know I am their mommy. There's nothing like that in the world...

Before I was a mom...

\

*this made me cry hard today. It's all so true*

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom.

So that's it then?

So something that has been on my mind since Dylan and Riley came into this world.

Do I want one more?

You all are probably thinking I am crazy in wondering, especially since these two just got here almost 4 weeks ago. I am enjoying my life in a family of four so much, but this last month has gone by in a blink. And I got to thinking - they are no longer "newborns", they are now "infants". I will never hold my newborn baby again. I will never look into the eyes of my baby for the first time ever again. I would love to get another shot at nursing and be successful at it. (pumping is going well but I am still supplementing)..

I will never experience pregnancy again...

Now, as you may know, I had a difficult and painful pregnancy. I had constant backaches, horrible sciatic pain, and other unpleasantness's including morning sickness, incompetent cervix, gestational diabetes, hemorrhoids, skin tags, stretchmarks, bleeding gums, etc etc etc...

However...

All of the nastiness that went along with it was shadowed by one thing.

Kicks. Movement. The fact of knowing that I was growing two lives. It was an incredible feeling.

So do I want to feel this again? You betcha I do. Do I want to go through what I went through all of those years?

No. No way. I don't want to chart and take pills and inject and be disappointed month after month. I want it to happen like "normal" people. Have some lovin' and get pregnant the regular way. Although Josh and I have an incredible relationship and yes, these babies WERE conceived out of love, they weren't conceived out of intimacy.

Now I know that it will probably never happen that way. So I am not going to "try". I won't get my hopes up and think it will happen. Because it most likely won't just "happen". But wouldn't it be nice if it did?

I don't know if other IFers have felt the same way. I think for me it would mean that I was "normal". That would be a great feeling...

But I am so happy and grateful with what I have right now and I would never think it's not enough. Dylan, Riley, and Josh are my life, I am incredibly blessed to have what I have. I have more than a lot of people. My life is currently as perfect as it' ever been, and will only get better...

New pump. New pics ;)

One-handed-two-baby-feeding-while-taking-a-picture...

So I got a new pump today - I am forever indebted to you, Michelle! I tried it out and was happy with the 1.5oz I got. This was after saying screw it for a few days and pumping intermittently or not at all. I focused all of my time on my kids. One of which had some nasty colic, but I think we got it under control. That is, until I start feeding him expressed milk. The risk is he could get colicky again because of something I am consuming. But I think I can control that... Dylan is also on an acid reflux med as well as mylicon. I am also on Reglan for milk supply... today is the first day of that, so I hope to see a good result from it...

So that's all I got for you today. Well, that and some photos! Enjoy ;)

Riley knows what's up...

Dylan is NOT amused...

Riley's kissy face...

And Dylan smiling in his sleep while getting snuggled/mauled by Lucy...