"Nobody said it was easy,

No one ever said it would be so hard"

I just put my TTC timeline into the margin of my blog. Holy CRAP I have been through a lot. It's didn't really hit me until I began typing it all out. It's really difficult to read it all and think that it's me. It's my TTC life. What happened??? Why do I go to sites like this and think "why do they get to experience this and I can't?" Then I go to sites like Lori's, Heather's, and Coco's and know I am not alone in this. But I feel alone. I am sad, angry, hurt, fed up, and just plain tired.

I have my IVF cycle coming up in July. Josh and I decided to try one last natural cycle in May before that. I am on BCP right now because a) I am hoping it will tell my ovaries to produce next month, and b) my dr. forbade any activity for 6 weeks after my surgery, so we couldn't do anything anyway... I have also gone mostly organic with the exception of the occasional Cadbury Creme Egg because they are just delish and you can only have them at Easter...

I was perusing another infertility site earlier, she had quotes from the song "Scientist" by Coldplay. They really hit home for me, so I invite you listen for yourself.