Previous post update...

So I wanted to clear things up a bit about my previous post... my sister and I had a nice long convo via email and I think that it makes more sense of how I feel about the whole MIL situation. So here's some exerpts from said emails...

I think my rant was more along the line of her comment of staying "a while". She tends to overstay her welcome. I have never experienced someone like that before, mainly because the people who come visit I actually enjoy being around and aren't all judgy if I do something differently than they do. For instance, last night she was making dinner and wanted a scrubber for baked potatoes. First off, I always hand scrub potatoes because it's easier, or I peel them. Secondly, I don't eat the skin of baked potatoes. Thirdly, I hardly have them at all and when I do I buy organic. That goes for all of my fruits/veggies (which 99% of the time I peel). And scrubbers are full of bacteria. Ew. So I usually use a wash if I need to but ran out. She kinda got this judgy look and asked if I even eat vegetables. Because I don't have a damn scrubber?! And since when is a carb filled starchy root a veggie anyway?

(glad to make you laugh, cuz I know you are ;)

Anyway, it's not that I don't want her to be able to see the kids. I totally do. But it's hard for her to understand it's gotta be on my terms. With my family, we do things very similar. I don't feel overrun and out of my element my family members come to visit, and neither does Josh. I'm not on edge. And even though I have never had to tell any of my family to back off, I feel like I could without hurt feelings. With her I have to be careful what I say. She's proven this (not getting into that one...).

I totally get it's gonna be a transition. This has been something we have been planning for 10 years now. But at the same time Josh and I need to be able to get into our routine and I feel like with her I would be getting into her routine. It's different. I know she won't give us space. I feel like she would take over. Know what I mean? Plus Josh and I need bonding time. We want to get to know our kids and I just can't see that with her constantly in my grill telling me what I am doing wrong. I feel like my side of the family is all encouraging and understands. Josh's side has a lot of negativity and judgement and I don't think they quite understand how many children I've grown up around and how, even though I haven't ever been a mom, I have an understanding on how I want to be. And I can change diapers lol!

Like I said, I want them to visit. It's an exciting time. BUT I don't want them to practically move in...

My sis really put my mind at ease. She has faith that Josh and I will be great parents, and even though it will be hard, it will be worth it. It will be fun.

We just need to be firm....

*breathe*

Waiting for the other shoe...

So the in-laws are here.

*silent scream*

So far it's been ok, but I am waiting for the fireworks. MIL got a ton of stuff for the babies which is great. BUT she asked me about who's gonna be here when the babies are born. I told her my mom and my sisters and Josh is taking time off.

She then said when my family leaves she will come up and stay for "a while". Dear God, how long is "a while"? Josh and I do need time alone eventually. And it's completely different with my family. They know that when I need to be alone, I need to be alone and they are very cool about it. They are wonderful that way.

MIL on the other hand? Not so much. I can see her clamoring for baby attention and not leaving me and Josh alone.

I can easily feel stifled. I have always been a bit of a loner. I have always wanted to be by myself, figure it out on my own.

Joy.

22 Weeks :) And new pic!

I'm freaking out over how fast this is going!

Biggest update - Josh finally felt the babies move! He and I were sitting on the couch last night, I grabbed his hand and told him to keep it on my tummy and one of the babies kicked :) it was cool...

I can definitely tell they have grown a lot since last week. The kicks are getting stronger and more frequent. This morning I was lying in bed and they were really moving and turning! For a while the squirming they both did made me feel a little dodgy, like I ate something bad, but now it's completely different. Good different!

The Boy has found a lovely spot to stretch right between my hips. He actually hurts me when he stretches sometimes! He likes being low - during my sono last week he had turned and his head was right above my cervix. Not yet little man!

In other news my car broke down yesterday. Boo. It overheated so I filled it with fluids and now it has a loud tick. I was so upset I called Josh at work to tell him I was just going to wait for him to get me after work. It was only an hour so I just sat there and read. But when he called telling me he was on his way I started crying. Hard. I was a blubbering idiot over a stupid car. I just didn't like the feeling of being stranded, nor did I like the idea of not having a car. Josh said not to worry, we will go back today after the car had a chance to sit for a while and see what happens. We can either spend the money to have it fixed, buy a new car, or be a one car family for a little while. None of these options excite me... So I will update on what happens...

Ok time to try my hand at being productive today. Starting with wrapping presents ;)

Hello my baby, hello my darlin'...

The babies are now officially known as The Warner Brothers Frog(s)...

Why?

Because apparently they will only perform for me. Every time they start movin' and a-shakin' and I tell Josh to either feel them or just watch my belly jump...

...They stop!

I will be lying in bed, feel the kicks, and quickly uncover my belly and tell Josh "watch!" which turns to "keep watching, one of them is moving". Which turns to me saying "screw it and covering back up. And once I do, the kicks start up again.

Why babies, why??!?

Josh is convinced that they will be all animated and do amazing things like walk and talk at 4 months old, but when I say "watch!" they will just sit there and be completely stoic....



Come on babies! move for daddy too!

21 Weeks! (and a day)

Wow. 21 weeks already. Insane.

Updates: Babies are doing great, moving around like crazy! They move and kick the most at night, around 2am. I think they are just preparing me for what's to come :)

I had a dr appt today and the babies are about a pound each. A whole pound! They are in my uterus "bunk bed style". Now that I know that it's easier to tell who is who when I feel them. The Girl had the hiccups last night. Cute! As far as we can tell, this pregnancy is going as smooth as it can possibly go. I know that would be a different story if I was still working. Even my blood pressure has gone down :)

So far so good. I am feeling good except for sciatic pain and acid reflux, but that is so minor. We got our Christmas tree, I have yet to wrap presents, but I have sent out most of my cards. Josh's parents will be spending the holiday with us so I am mentally preparing for that.

I also got my glider rocker today :) I took a nap and when I woke up Josh had it all put together. And the cat was snuggled up on it already! You see why I haven't put the crib together yet?

I also registered with Target and Babies R Us :) so I am feeling a little better about preparations.

Yay babies :)

Will we ever be ready??

I think the fact that the babies are kicking have sent me into a bit of a frenzied tailspin. I know I still have time but I feel like I am so unprepared for these little ones. I bought a crib, deciding to wait on a second by the advice of other twin moms. Most twin moms I know have said that their babies slept in the same crib for months. BUT I have yet to buy the mattress. And the crib is still in the box, chillin in my entryway since I got it over a week ago. I am afraid to put it together for fear that my cat will take custody of it.

I did buy a glider too. I ordered it this week, it should be here by Christmas.

I really haven't gotten anything else besides the occasional article of clothing. I need to buy cloth diapers and diaper covers (way cheaper than disposables). As of right now I am unsure if I will use a diaper service.

I haven't purchased the twin pack-n-play I want. I haven't purchased a stroller, or carseats, changing table, etc. I haven't bought much of anything. Now that these babies are really making themselves known I am feeling the urgency of these needs.

I think part of me still had those horrible "what if" thoughts. We spent so much time and effort getting pregnant, it's still hard to believe we are. I still think it will all be taken away. I think I will wake up one day and it will all be a dream.

But then I feel the kicks I am feeling at this very moment. And I know it's my two beautiful children telling me it will all be ok.

But I still need to buy a lot of crap...

Movement

I am feeling movement very regularly now. It's pretty cool, not just feeling the twisty-turny-not-sure-but-it-might-be movement. Yesterday something super cool happened...

Chillin on my couch, watching tv, I felt The Boy kicking me on my right side. It was hard kicks too. So I lift my shirt to see my belly and then I saw it. My belly jumped. I didn't think I would actually be able to see it that soon... It went on for a while. I could feel The Girl kicking me on the left but it was too low for me to see due to my "belly horizon". It was insane...

The Boy is making himself known on the right. My belly button is officially no longer in the center..