Wednesday, March 31, 2010
I love knitting. Well, recently. I learned the basics a few years ago, then stopped for a while, then once I got into my 3rd trimester I picked it back up again. THIS BLOG is an inspiration :)
She's also doing a giveaway. I know, nothing having to do with knitting, but still awesome! These little leather shoes are too cute! Click here for more info about it! And Happy 2nd Birthday to her little daughter!
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I went to do my NST this morning. The babies were doing just fine, although my little girl was again being completely uncooperative and moving away from the monitor. When they finally found her HB my boy decided to shift. FINALLY they got them both and instead of using the belts to secure the nurses held the do-hickeys in place for 10-15 min. I had a couple of contractions during the scan and both kids passed.
My blood pressure was up though. When I got to the hospital I began feeling shaky and just not right. The nurse brought me juice and toast to help me calm down a bit. It helped a little but not much. They ended up taking my BP a bunch of times.
BP #1 - 140/90.. hmm, seems high...
BP #2 - 144/92.. creeping up
BP #3 - 144/102.. uh oh.
I started to get nervous, which didn't help. The nurse said she would call my Dr to find out if he wanted to deliver me today. TODAY?! I'm not ready! Josh and I began talking about it and resigned to the idea of being parents today and I began to feel better. And I started getting excited. But scared. The first thing out of my mouth was "I want my mom" and called her at work.
My Dr ordered bloodwork. When they first checked my BP they took away my juice, toast, and water and said nothing to eat or drink at all until we get some answers. Not even water...boo.. So between that and getting 4 vials of blood drawn I was feeling pretty woozy and dehydrated.
They also decided to use another BP cuff on me. So after that:
BP #4 - 139/89... getting better
BP #5 - 119/77... :)
BP #6 - 117/74 Whew....
My labs came back normal and since my blood pressure went back down I was free to go... On one hand I was relieved that everything was ok, on the other hand I had already decided today was they day, so I was disappointed. I mean I am the very last of the twin mommies that I know to have my babies.... BUT the longer these kids stay in there the better off they are. Besides I only have 9 days max until they are in my arms.
My Dr decided that he knew enough of what was going on and said I didn't have to go back to his office for my regular appointment (which I had missed anyway). He was going to do an internal but since I am having a cesarean and my contractions aren't really painful, plus they are so erratic that it's not a problem right now. And since I am officially full term at 37 weeks I am no longer at risk for pre-term (yay!)
AND I reported that bitch of a Dr to the charge nurse. She seemed pretty mad that I was treated that way and would take care of it for me. She also said that if I EVER needed anything at all, even if I wasn't having labor signs and I just wanted to be monitored to call and they would take care of me. Now THAT'S the way to be treated. I love that staff...
So, I have one more NST next Tuesday and then D-Day on Thursday! Or sooner... I told Josh I wonder if the nurses are taking bets on when these kids get here...
Sunday, March 28, 2010
As you know from my previous post I have been having contractions on and off and I have lost some mucous over the last couple of days. No blood tinged, but I know that doesn't necessarily matter. Anyway, last night I got a headache and I know that my Dr and the nurses at the hospital have asked if I have had headaches, so I have been looking out for them. I was also having contractions, again intermittent, but definitely there. I was also feeling kinda crappy. So I wanted to reassurance and called the after hours service for my Dr office, who said that the on-call would call me back.
So she did, I told her a very brief history of this pregnancy and described what I had been feeling. She acted like I was annoying her and spoke in a very condescending tone to me to only call if my contractions were 5 min apart. I said that my Dr said to call if I get 4 in an hour. She went on to tell me it doesn't matter if I am carrying one or two babies the rule is the same. I said ok, I will time them. And THEN she says "a real contraction would be very painful. DON'T call unless they are painful. Have a good night." AND THEN SHE HUNG UP!!! I started to cry and was so angry with her. I had calmed down a bit but when Josh got back from the gym I started crying uncontrollably. Luckily all of my issues stopped andthe babies were both moving with no problems, so I decided not to call L&D. I just wanted a little assurance, not "you idiot, don't you know whether or not you are in labor?" NO I DON'T. This is my first pregnancy (which I told her) so it's all new to me.
Bitch. Josh says I need to mention it to my regular Dr.
Ok enough of that. On to fun stuff. Feel free to steal...
Why did you start blogging? I originally started blogging to show off shoes and pretty things but it quickly turned into a blog about infertility and my struggles with it. It's been a nice outlet...
Who's the one blog friend that you would want to meet most in "real life"? Sorry, can't pick just one! There are way too many. But you each know who you are ;) And I love you all like sisters!
Why are you always concerned with losing that "extra 10 pounds" when chances are your husband/boyfriend/friends tell you that you look just fine the way you are? This is a funny question because I have never felt that way about myself. Even though I am hugely pregnant right now, I am not concerned with weight after pregnancy. Especially since my baby weight has all been in my belly. I'm ok with that.
What's the one thing you wish guys could understand about you? My husband understands so much about me. The mood swings threw him off a bit though. We have very open communication though, so if something is bothering us we aren't afraid to say it.
Tattoos. How many do you have and how many are visible when you wear your "everyday" clothes? umm lemme count... 7 I think? And most show in regular clothes. I have a shamrock on my heel, a 1/2 winged heart on my foot, Tigger on my ankle, an angel on my hip, a huge rose on the ball of my shoulder, a sparrow on the front of my shoulder, and an Egyptian symbol on the back of my shoulder. No, I'm not done either ;)
What was the best year of your life and why? The year Josh and I got married was great, but this year may rival that...
Name three things you would do if you were a man for one day. Ummm I don't know. I don't wanna be a man!
What's your alcoholic drink of choice that usually raises a few eyebrows? I have always loved Margaritas. But I think ANY alcoholic drink I order at this point in my lifef would raise eyebrows...
Friday, March 26, 2010
I did have a lot of mucous yesterday morning, not enough to be the plug, but definitely enough to notice. I had it once and then a little bit in the evening. I had a teeny tiny bit today too. I still have (ir)regular contractions. Yesterday I only had 8 or so throughout the day, today I've had a couple so far. Not enough to make "the call".
Right now both kids are awake and moving around. I just had yogurt and they like that. Or not, I can't tell.
I've been dreaming about another veggie burger since I had that one the other day. Mmmmm. On a wheat bun. I'm so getting another one when I am back downtown next Tuesday.
So if you don't hear from me for a couple/few days, I probably am still pregnant. Or not. I'll just have to keep you guessing ;)
Oh and vote for me in the Top Mommy Blogs - I was shocked to see I was like #22 the other day. Really?! And head on over to Mommy Wants Freebies and vote. I am also doing a super special giveaway starting tomorrow on Freebies.
13 more days until c-section!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The funny thing was I had several contractions last night and this morning and afternoon. Once I was hooked up to the monitor I didn't have any. Not a single one! My uterus is trying to psyche me out I think.
BP went back down - yay! And no protein in my urine either :)
My daughter was totally uncooperative during my NST. She was squirming around like mad. Probably due to that veggie burger I had before my appt. And it was yummy.
My dr had a med student with him today. He was all young and little and adorable and super nervous. He was actually shaking when he was measuring my belly. Then he got all happy when he found the hb of both babies right away (even though I told him exactly where they were). He felt all accomplished. It was adorable.
So nothing exciting. Like I said, a good thing. A great thing really :) now I must take a nap :)
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
I am now 36 years old. I don't feel it at all.
Today I am 36 weeks pregnant. I have kept these babies safe and warm for 36 weeks now! I have 16 days left until my scheduled babies day. However I still don't think I will get that far. I am still have a lot of contractions, my son is so low in my pelvis it's become increasingly difficult to walk. My daughter has flipped around to head down position. Things have just seemed to speed up over the last week.
It's all so crazy. It's hard for me to remember what it was like to not be pregnant, yet so easy to recall the pain and heartache these last few years have given me. I am so ready to start this new chapter in our lives. Won't be long now!
I have a dr appt as well as a NST at 4:00. I'm anxious. Of course I am ALWAYS anxious before appointments. Early on it was anxiety over making sure the babies are ok. Now it's all about when "it's time".
My sister and my niece both have their birthdays tomorrow. Maybe they will have to share?
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Anyway, I have been having erratic contractions. It all started thursday. I began getting only two, maybe 3 an hour. Then they went away for a while. Then I woke up around every hour or so to one. My stomach was as hard as a rock and I got that weird breathing.
By morning I had one an hour. Then none by noon. Since then I have had a few more. I actually just had one. I don't know if it is just something with me but I am beginning to tell when one is coming on because my breathing becomes a little shallow. Not like I am gasping, but just a little short of breath, like some weight has been put on my chest. Then I put my hand on my belly and sure enough it gets super tight for a minute or so, then relaxes. I get little twinges of pain too, on one side or another or low in my belly. I'm not having any back labor, but my back hurts all the time anyway. Still no pattern though.
I am wondering if this is still BH or early onset of labor. No mucous or bleeding... TMI my bowels are moving a bit better. Sorry lol
Other than that, my days have been uneventful. The biggest thing that happened today was my washing machine broke today. Luckily it's owned by the owner so I just had to shoot a quick email and a repairman will be here to fix it. Bad thing is I have a few more things to wash before the babies get here but no biggie.
Oh, and when it broke I didn't cry!!!
I have been craving birthday cake all weekend. Since it's on Monday I won't have to wait long for my white cake with strawberry filling and whipped cream frosting. Yummmmmm....
GD is still fine. Actually normal now. I even strayed from the GD diet and got normal levels. Hallelujah I'm cured!!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
For some reason (haha) I have grown increasingly more emotional lately. Yeah I know it's pg horomones, but I need to say that I feel like I have kept it pretty well together over the last 35+ weeks. I would have a little outburst maybe once every month or less often.
Now? Weekly. Almost daily. And not just getting annoyed. I mean full-blown tears and sadness and that sense of "woes me".
Cue the violin.
In my defense, my back hasn't stopped hurting since Christmas. It's gotten so bad that I cry. It has more or less taken over anything I could possibly do during the day.
I woke up in a stressed out panic this morning and proceeded to make my husband feel bad.
What got me upset was Josh wanting to get a video game for our time in the hospital. It's only $25 but I got to the point that I just started crying. Telling him that he won't have much downtime in the hospital. Asking him why he feels like there's going to be so much time where he will just sit around and do nothing.
Then it hit me. My birthday is next week. And he's the one spending money on himself. In my mind he's being selfish. But I know that I am dwelling on one thing. I know that he works hard and deserves a stupid video game.
I felt bad. I bought the damn game. I cried.
Earlier today my dog got some sort of contact allergy on her paws and she was licking them. It just grosses me out. And I felt bad because I yelled at her to stop licking her paws.
So I cried.
And that made her feel bad which made me feel worse. So I cried even harder.
I cried the other day because I lost my tweezers. My eyebrows are important to me and I can't pluck them now.
When the dvr messed up my taping of American Idol last night I cried.
I couldn't sleep last night because I felt like our room was stuffy and I couldn't get out of bed to open the window.
You guessed it. I cried.
Looking at this post makes me feel like a flippin' idiot.
Who cries over tweezers??
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
And I know you are lovin' the swordfish on the wall....
Both babies had strong little heartbeats and did just the right amount of jumping around. They cooperated very well for mommy and my nurse Megan :) Good kids!
I decided that I am not going to stress about the next 21 days. I am going to relax and let these kids cook. When they are ready to come out, they will come out. Until then I will continue to chill ot and nest and enjoy these last days....
One more with some sass added...
Monday, March 15, 2010
The biggest things today - we talked about my labor symptoms - mostly non-existent with the exception of contractions here and there and a tiny amount of mucous yesterday. So he said that due to there being nothing going on we would forego the internal exam unless I wanted one. He said that even if I am dialated a centimeter or 2 it's not going to matter until I get more definite signs of labor.
I DO have a cesearan date though :) April 8th, which means the longest I will be pregnant now is 24 days. Which feels like an eternity. BUT it's scheduled! YAY!
I am measuring 46 weeks... and I gained 4 lbs. Which is fine because I hadn't gained a thing since January. So I am officially up to approx 34 lbs total. BUT I was a "roomy" girl when I started this, so the babies are just eating my fat.
My blood pressure went up 138/90 - still normal, but "high normal". and I had a little bit of protein in my urine. But he said he isn't really concerned because it's not enough to say I have preeclampsia or kidney issues.
Josh brought up having my tubes tied during the surgery. Ummm, exsqueeze me? We haven't even talked about that. I don't think I am ready for that just yet.... We have talked about no more kids, but I am still weird on having that final confirmation, seeing all of the issues we had trying to get pregnant. It just feels weird....
I start NST this Wednesday and will go every week until I deliver. So three times?
Tonight Josh and I decided to run a couple of errands - exchange a couple of things at Target and go to Sephora so I can get my "Beauty Insider" Birthday gift...
I'm tired, happy that we have a definite baby date, but disappointed that we possibly have to wait that long. By our estimate the babies are both currently easily over 5lbs, even close to 6 at this point. Still tiny, still preemie, but able to make it out in the great big world with mommy and daddy...
Watch, I will be all bummed out today about everything and then go into labor in the next couple of days. hardy-har-har....
Oh, and funny side note - my "arch enemy" from high school actually friended me on FB today. She and this other girl hated me for some reason. They actually would threaten me and were downright mean! We were never, ever on any decent terms. This started in freshman P.E. and lasted the entire 4 years. Seriously, I did nothing to provoke these two and was overall quite popular... Should I accept her request?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Josh and I are both nesting. He's currently scouring the house up and down and I'm, well, sitting on the couch debating on getting up to blow dry my hair. And deciding what I should order from Target. I got two bouncy chairs and I have decided to have Josh take one back so I can get a swing instead. What if the babies don't like bouncy chairs??? I am also going to order a few little toys and some bottles. I have plenty of bottles, but I feel like I need just a few more... especially since I can't exclusively BF both babies, I will need bottles to pass to Josh....
I will be 35 weeks on Tuesday. The average gestation of twins. I have more baby matter in me than anyone I have ever known. With the exception of my twin mommy blogger buddies. I tell ya, it's been a difficult last few weeks. I have enjoyed the movement and kicks though. Back pain? not so much... I have also enjoyed the daily hiccups they each get. It's comforting...
I have developed a couple more stretch marks. I kind of knew I would with twins. They are still very low and it's not like I wander around in bikinis, so it's not a big deal. It's nice that they aren't making my stomach look like a roadmap though.
Josh went last night to get his tattooed arm finished. this was is 5th session. And guess what? NOT FINISHED. I told him it was as finished as it could be for now and he will have to wait to get the rest done. It's looks great though, just needs a bit here and there. He went to a local shop (friend of a friend), expecting to be there 2 or 3 hours at the most. He left at 4pm and got home at midnight. BUT the artist only charged him for the time they had agreed on, which was a relief!
I got the sweetest package from my friend Brandie yesterday! It madde me so happy - two preemie outfits, two 3-6 m onesies, and some washcloths! I swear she was reading my mind - I was just going through the babies' things and thought I don't have enough preemie, older, and washcloths! Plus the preemie outfits go PERFECTLY with two preemie hats that I made my babies! I am bringing it all to the hospital and will take photos so you will see them in their little outfits from "Auntie Brandie" ;) Thanks honey - love you!!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
I'm so happy and anxious and scared and relieved that my IF journey is almost over. I mean, I still believe I will always be an infertile, I wouldn't have gotten pregnant the "normal way", and especially not with my precious twins. It's all so surreal.
I'm going to be a mom. Josh is going to be a dad. Really?!
I have been bedrest-nesting a lot (i.e. ordering stuff on the 'net). My daily excitement is going to to mailbox to see what goodies I got. Yesterday I received some clothes for my little boy. Josh has a thing for "shirts with snaps". He recently bought 2 Lucky Brand shirts (don't get me started - he is still feeling bad about spending the money), so I bought a little 3 month plaid shirt (with snaps, of course) for our little guy, plus a couple of other plaid shirts and some really adorable little camo-cargo shorts. Josh was thrilled :) He is all excited that he and his boy will match with their shirts with snaps lol! I also got a couple of nursing bras. One is leopard print of course. And I got another sleep bra. The leopard is from La Leche League Collection. And umm, do the band sizes fit smaller or am I just in denial?? Thankfully I had some extenders, but all of my other bras of the same size fit me... peculiar...
I also got some yummy samples from Canus (http://www.canusgoatsmilk.com/eng/) that I emailed to request. They sent me baby shampoo, baby lotion, and another vegetaable oil baby bar soap. They smell soooooo good.... I may buy some for myself! I got a bunch of cloth diapering items too. With twins I want to save money, so I figured I would try cloth diapers, at least during the day. Most likely I will go with disposables at night and for outings. If I like cloth diapering I will join a diaper service here so I won't have to launder it all...
Geez I sound like a granola girl, huh? Well, I am so not ;) I don't wear hemp, I love designer clothes and such, and I do eat food with a face. Well, not with the face currently attached. BUT I do prefer organic food because it just makes me feel better, and I love the way organic stuff smells and feels. I think it started with my obsession with Burt's Bees a few years ago.
Anyway, being 34 weeks is so nice. And bittersweet. My years of struggling will be a distant memory when I look into the eyes of my babies.
My birthday is coming up on the 22nd. Wouldn't that be the best birthday gift ever??
Monday, March 8, 2010
Josh took care of bringing the bureau down and putting the bookshelves upstairs yesterday. I converted it into a lovely "baby center". Which means I stocked it with diapering items, onesies, sleepers, and blankets so I won't have to go all over the house for necessities if I am chilling in the living room in the middle of the night.
Speaking of middle of the night - I actually got decent sleep last night! I ended up going to sleep around midnight, woke up 2 or 3 times, but fell right back asleep, and I was up for the day at 6:30. A bit of a feat for me. I feel good... Except my back pain has gotten worse during my waking hours. I can get comfy at night, but during the day I am attached to my heating pad... And yeah, they babies are both definitely lower now. BH have been more frequent and more painful. Not enough to warrent a call to my dr but definitely worse....
I had a bit of an emotional fit the other day. And by that I mean crying uncontrollably for an hour and totally freaking poor Josh out. I just feel so helpless. I want to vacuum and clean and such. Josh told me to just ask him instead of getting myself worked up. For me it's easier said than done. I was raised to be pretty self-sufficient and take care of things myself, so it's always been hard for me to ask for help. I feel like a nag if I ask. He says not to worry about it....
I was watching Kendra the other day. It was the one where she had her baby. In her hospital room she was heavily and painfully laboring. And there were 10-12 of her family members in the room with her. Just watching her. Like staring at her. As I was watching that I thought "that's my hell". After she had the baby everyone in the room kept asking to hold him. She didn't seem to mind. I asked Josh if I should feel bad that I am almost glad we don't have family super close by so that we can enjoy a few precious hours of just us should the babies come early. He said that the birth of our children is a very private time and he would be happy to have it be just us for a little bit. I don't know if I would feel the same way if it wasn't for IF. We lived in a silent hell for years, glazing over our fertility problems with family and friends. But quietly screaming inside. So with that being so private I feel like we earned our own time, even if only an hour or so, of just us. Of course if we make it to a scheduled c-section (doubt it), that will change a little. And that's ok too. BUT when I say "out" I mean "out" ;) Thankfully the few people who will come from out of town will understand that.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Still no real contractions, only BH here and there. No mucous changes (TMI), no other labor signs. I just feel... heavy... like both babies are pushing their weight down.... and my stomach is really tight... And my appetite is non-existent. I feel like I need to force myself to eat.
I am at the point where I just want them out now. But them again I don't. I'm not ready!!!
I decided that instead of buying a new bureau right away I am going to have Josh bring the one we already have downstairs and my bookshelves upstairs. Just a little switcheroo. I've read everything on those bookshelves anyway and I don't care to look at them anymore. So this afternoon/evening I will be packing up most of the bookshelf stuff into my currently empty trunk/coffee table. I also have some craft things all organized in bins on one of the shelves that I think I may put on my hall closet shelves. a couple of months ago I got all "Clean House" and binned and labeled everything I own. My pantry has never looked better ;)
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I do have a super snuggly dog next to me though, so it's better than no cuddles :)
At 9am the doorbell rang. UPS lady with a box for me. It was a fairly large package from Lansinoh brimming with things especially for bf! Samples plus full size products :) for you expecting or new moms go.ogle them and call or email asking if they have any samples you can try :) They also sent a sweet personalized note congratulating me on my twins. Nice!
Also Josh came home yesterday to tell me he got a raise and a hefty bonus. Whew! I had to dip into savings earlier this week to pay my doctor since we are in a new insurance year and deductibles started over.
The new site is going well too. I have about 100 FB fans now and almost 500 unique hits to the site. Not like I'm getting anything out of it, it's just fun.
I also washed and put all of the baby clothes away yesterday. After 8 loads everything is clean, clean, clean. And I rearranged the built-ins to accomodate most of it, but there are a lot of things still upstairs. I also found a beautiful bureau I'm thinking I may get for the living room to house some things so I'm not running around the house getting essentials for them. I also decided what they will wear for their coming home outfits! That's a secret :)
Monday, March 1, 2010
So I have 9 1/2 lbs of babies, about 4 lbs of placenta, and 4 lbs of amniotic fluid. So over half of my weight gain is directly baby related. Plus there's the uterine weight gain, the bbs gain, etc. No wonder I have no sense of balance...
Boy is head down and girl is breech. Doesn't matter a whole lot since I am having a ceserean anyway. Which has not been scheduled. I still think 35-36 weeks is where it's gonna be.
My next appt isn't for another 2 weeks. Which means two more weeks of cabin fever. I was so happy to get out today but I got so tired. But it was nice to look like a girl and do my hair and makeup. I clean up well....
- Baby boy began pushing down so hard last night I thought my water would break. He wants out...
- Baby girl has been squirmy lately. She's running out of room in there along with her brother and can't seem to get comfy. Welcome to my world, little one!
- I am measuring about 45 weeks now. All belleh...
- I have a new little stretchmark going from my pelvic line to about halfway to my navel. Which has officially popped now. Which I love. the navel, not the stretchmark. Thankfully I am very fair-skinned and the mark is light and will fade into nothing... I also have a little one above my navel where I had a piercing so many years ago. Rebel...
- I had a massive muscle spasm Saturday morning enough to warrant a call to my Dr who said that as long as I feel the babies and I don't have any bleeding or mucous I should be ok. It was only one and it went away.
- Sleep. Sleep?? What's that? Between trying to get comfortable and constantly kicking my dog off my pillows (mind you, she's almost 100lbs) I get an average of 5-6 hours a night. Whilst waking every 2 hours, so I am never in REM sleep... If it weren't for naps I would be a zombie!
- I am so anxious to see these babies I can't stand it. I daydream about what they will look like. Red curls like me when I was little? Super blonde hair like Josh as a baby? Who's features will they have? Will they both get my long second toe?
- I STILL haven't washed any baby clothes, but as long as I am going home today and not to L&D I am doing it. TODAY. I have it all separated and ready to go in the wash....